My Shooting Star

I'm a huge fan of stars, pretty much anything that has to do with the universe. Growing up, my notebooks were filled with sketches of moons, stars, and shooting stars, so much for paying attention in class. I was always a daydreamer because it gave me a sense of peace with all the shit going on in my life. Knowing that there's a whole universe with unexpected wonder gave me a sense of hope, a hope to dream.  As an adult when I accepted Christ, stars became a symbol of hope in my life.

As a "young" Christian, I struggled with the idea that there was a God who knows me, that Jesus was my savior. I asked God to show me white doves and shooting stars as a sign that he exists. To my surprise, he answered my prayers, my faith was instilled, and my hope was renewed. These signs became less frequent when I became preoccupied with everyday life. I lost touch with the magical side of God and I became bored with him. Yes, I was bored with God, with this so called Christian life and it was my doing. I put my energy towards my anxiety and that in itself imprisoned my mind.

In December during the super moon,  I took a drive because I felt like I was about to lose my shit. I was scared because I knew that my life was about to change drastically. I kept telling myself that I'm a 30 year old about to live with my mom, no job, no real "career", and I panicked. I put on my worship music and drove for about an hour. In Idaho the roads at night are dark and narrow, the perfect symbolism to my life. Where the hell am I going now?  I found the perfect place to park so I could gaze at the moon and when I got out of the car, I looked up and lost it. I couldn't control it and I decided to let it be, but all I remember thinking that if God really heard my cry, he would show me a shooting star. As I drove back to my place my vision shifted to the right and I saw my shooting star. I started to laugh and cry at the same time because I couldn't control my emotions. God did something to me that night, he gave me hope, a sign that my future is not lost.

Side Note: No one can tell me that God doesn't exist.  He's legit. He's magical.

 My point to this story is to give encouragement if you're feeling lost. Do me a favor, stop what you're doing, look up at the sky and realize that your problems are miniscule compared to God's amazing power. Pray and ask grandly and I promise you will see your signs from God.

For your beauty sleep: For I, the Lord, love justice. I hate robbery and wrongdoing. I will faithfully reward my people for their suffering and make an everlasting covenant with them. Isaiah 61:8

P.S. Excuse me for my vulgar language. I'm going to be really real in this blog and this is how I talk. I'm not going to be a cookie cutter "Christian blogger" Ok bye. :)

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